Nirvana's Noteworthy: Baron Badman

'No man can think clearly when his fists are clenched'

~George Jean Nathan~

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I love the smell of metal in the morning.

A dimly lit room. The clearest source of light coming from the lamp on the desk. It watches over my work. The only sounds are the scraping, whirring, buzzing of my tools. The rough texture of gloves over my calloused hands. I am focused. I am the machine.

The door clicks open.

“Hey Barry, just wanted to catch up on-“

“JESSE DON’T INTERRUPT ME!”

I hurl the closest object at my annoying brother. In this case, it happens to be a spanner that whacks him square in the shoulder. He yelps like a little puppy.

“Damn it Baron, that one actually hurt!” Jesse moans. I grunt and pull off my safety goggles to look at him.

“You’re already wearing your body armour, right?”

“No, actually”

“Well then it’s your fault. Also, never ever call me ‘Barry’ again”

 “That wasn’t the point though…”

I watch out the corner of my eye as Jesse tentatively walks across the poorly lit, unkempt workshop floor, rubbing his shoulder. It’s frustrating, but he’s my brother so I just scoff and turn back to work on the scrap metal piece of shit in front of me. Just as I pick up the safety goggles the nuisance pops his head beside mine. In the reflection of the goggles we look like some messed up family photo. Two faces, exactly the same, one smiling and one that’s pissed. Seems about accurate really. I turn to look at his face. That crazy, saccharine grin is entirely too much.

“Why are you invading my personal space dear brother?” I ask through gritted teeth. He seems to pick up on my mood, thankfully, and takes a step back.

“I just wanted to know if the guns were done. We’re supposed to be heading off to deliver them in, like, an hour”

“They needed adjustments”

“You said that yesterday. You also said it would take you an hour”

“They needed more”

Jesse groans, throwing his hands into the air in a melodramatic display.

“Well, I suppose this is what I get for being the dumb twin! I’ll never understand your shining diamond brain, Baron my boy”

Not this again. True, Jesse wasn’t born with an advanced mental ability like I was, but he’s nowhere near dumb. He’s effectively my genetic clone, he’s as close to another genius aside from Min that I’ve ever met. To be honest, I feel like the universe cheated him. But, it’s not like I can tell him that. Brothers don’t do that. So instead, I groan in reply and get up from my chair, placing both of my hands on his shoulder. I give him a good, hard shake to shut him up before I speak.

“You’re not fucking dumb. You are smarter than most people. You know that. I know that. Mother and father know that. Our friends know that. Stop whining and use that gifted brain of yours to make sure we’re completely organised and ready to deliver these guns to potentially dangerous hooligans in another city. Now please, let me finish and make these shitty pieces of scrap mental into something actually usable”

I pull away from his shoulders and plonk back down into my work chair, putting on the safety goggles. There’s silence from him for a few seconds. Then, I hear a quiet ‘humph’.

“You’re right. As always. Just, actually make sure you’re done in thirty minutes so I can do final checks” he calmly responds.

“Make that forty”

“Thirty-five”

He gives me an affirming pat on the back and moves to leave. His footsteps are offbeat as he tries to navigate his way back. I take a quick peak at him and chuckle lowly at the sight.

“Hey hey hey, I can hear you laughing!”

As he scolds me I can hear a subdued hiss of pain follow it. Shit, his shoulder. He needs to pad up on that area. I turn around quickly to yell at him one more time.

“Oi Jesse, don’t forget your body ar-“

He’s gone. Oh well. I’ll remind him again later. Right now, I have something more fascinating to focus on. I pick up the mangled gun I’ve been working on. Blueprints begin to form vividly in my brains. Parts being sketched, numbers, pieces moving, slotting into place. The bullets can fire out here, they’re more rapid if I use this mechanism. A sleeker design that won’t affect the efficiency. The images remould themselves over and over until a completed model sticks.

I grin something fierce and reach for my tools.

My brain becomes like an engine. I’m revving at my hardest, burning off fuel, refuelling on protein bars, pouring all I have into this machine. I become lost in the process. I become lost in the blueprint. 

My mind won’t resurface until it’s done.

…

…

…

I reawaken my mind to darkness.

My vision slowly blurs from blackness to clear. I’m not in my workshop anymore. I’m in a…hospital room?

My joints feel stiff. I can’t tell whether it’s the haziness from waking up but they don’t seem to move too well. Instead of the whole limbs I’ll try just flexing my fingers. Although fairly numb, it seems to work. I do the same with my toes. Same result. I try again with limbs. They budge slightly, but they still feel sluggish and give up almost instantly.

Everything hurts. What happened to me?

My hearing starts to come back. The faint chatter of doctors and patients in the hallway, a far away dog with a needlessly loud bark, the door to my room opening up, a woman’s voice.

“Mr Badman, I’m glad to see you are awake” she speaks in a comforting lilt. I chuckle without even realising. The woman, who I assume is either a doctor or a nurse, comes to stand over me in the bed. She seems elderly, with thin greying hair and a professional smile accompanied by a lifetime’s worth of wrinkles.

“You can call me Doctor Glenn. How are you feeling today?”

I try to say anything but my tongue feels heavy. Instead I babble out an incoherent groan.

“I see, so the sedatives are only starting to wear off. Hopefully we shouldn’t need those again, so just use this time to rest up. I’ll check over a few things then I’ll leave you be. If you need anything else after then, don’t hesitate to use our A.I. assistant, Didi”

A little holographic person appears in front of my eyes. A cute, androgynous figure in a nurse’s costume.

“Hello BARON, I am Didi! I can do whatever you ask me to. I can call the doctors, turn on the TV, remind you to take medication and so much more!”

Their voice is squeaky, like one of those ‘chibi’ anime characters. Jesse watched some strange shows.

Actually, where is he?

Doctor Glenn finishes her check up whilst Didi entertains me with energetic dancing. Suddenly, Didi dings and looks surprised, then smiling again.

“BARON, you seem to have a visitor. His name is Mr Min Wen”

“I’m just about finished, so I’ll leave you with your friend. Remember, if you need anything, just tell Didi to call me” Doctor Glenn calmly says as she leaves the room. I strain my head to watch her pass by the familiar shape of my friend as he enters. My punk rock Chinese friend places himself gently on the chair beside me. He’s holding yet another new book. The words are a little blurred since my vision hasn’t quite settled itself.

Coping…With…Grief.

What…what is happening?

The serenity of the room starts to contract into me, crushing down on my chest, my senses. In an effort to communicate I strain what energy I do have into my vocal chords.

“Min-“

“Baron”

I’m taken aback. It’s not like him to interrupt. Not him, not the quiet, apathetic bookworm. The crushing feeling gets worse. I don’t make another effort to speak and yet he continues.

“Please, don’t push yourself, I…”

His voice appears strained. He looks around, anywhere but me, like he’s searching for the right words. What words though? What words!?

He looks at his book last before looking at me again. Min clears his throat.

“Death never comes at the right time, despite what mortals believe. Death always comes like a thief”

Death…why death?

I narrow my eyes to display my confusion. Min’s face twists into a pained expression I’ve never once seen from him. Not from any scratch, cut or bruise

“Baron…”

He breathes a choked breath. My heart beats wildly under the crushing feeling.

“The reason you’re in the hospital…about two days ago…you went to Gehenna…with Jesse, and while you were there…he…”

Min shakes his head.

“I came when you called me. When I got there…five people I didn’t know where dead or unconscious. You…you were cradling Jesse…and screaming. If I hadn’t brought backup and tranqs, I might’ve joined them”

Min takes a deep breath, pausing for a few seconds.

“Baron…Jesse is dead. We think those strangers killed him. Then, you must have lost control. I’m sorry. I’m so sorry”

The weight on my chest crashes straight through me. The energy I was rebuilding accelerates at a pace my emotions can’t handle. My vision is whirred through a tunnel of images, flickering between darkness and bright, red stained visions.

A car journey.

Pop music. I hate pop music.

Countryside.

Gehenna.

Looming buildings.

Jesse is too calm.

A wide alley.

Five people.

Bad smiles.

Jesse is too calm.

Guns.

No money.

Thwack.

Broken teeth. Not mine.

Jesse swings.

His shoulder hurts.

Nothing.

Bang!

Blood spills.

Jesse forgot his armour.

Screaming.

So much screaming.

Crunch.

Broken bones. Not mine.

Memories fading. Anger rising.

Jesse…is dead.

I sit up in the bed. I’m conscious, barely.

“Baron…I know it’s hard. I’ll try to help you, however I can. Your brother was my friend as well”

He sounds concerned. I don’t care.

He places a hand on my shoulder. I bend it back. Some of the bones snap.

Min doesn’t scream. He lets out a pained whine.

“Di…di…call Doctor Glenn…immediately” He mutters.

I lose it.

I don’t know what I’m doing for the next few minutes. There’s crashes, scattered footsteps, glass smashing, screaming. My screaming. More footsteps. More crashes. Something holding me back. A small prick. Familiar hands. Whispers.

“You’ll be alright”

“I’m sorry”

“It’s for your own good”

My body becomes as numb as my mind.